Adjustments

Many people ask me “How is Zambia?” and I always reply, it’s amazing, but really difficult. And so many are like, why is it difficult? Then I say to myself, why would it not be difficult? First of all, I am in another country, with people I don’t know. I moved to Zambia, just after high school. I am literally in the middle of nowhere. (Literally the sticks). And then, I am on my own, I have none of my friends and family with me, and I have had to fend for myself, cook for myself and also have the biggest reality check of my life. Also adjusting to people speaking so many different languages to me, and not being able to wear shorts or show my legs or some of my stomach, is so strange. I expected it, but it’s not a two week thing, like the last time I was here. It’s much longer, and really strict. No bending the rules. For example, was wearing a top and it crept up when I bent over to pick something up. And Bertha (chef at VOH School) hit me so hard on the exposed skin, because its offensive to her and her culture.

But what I have to deal with on a daily basis, I don’t think many people my age normally do, and most people won’t ever have to deal with. For example, two weeks into my trip, I had to deal with the death of twin 5 month old babies. Then the school that I work at, has many abused children. About two weeks ago, I had to take one of my students to the clinic as his mother tried to cut of his ear because he misbehaved. Then at the moment I am dealing with a blind lady, whose husband abuses her, and doesn’t provide for his three beautiful children, and happily cheats with other women in front of his wife. And also seeing such malnourished children really is emotionally draining.

Then also, not being a part of a church and coming to Zambia, and going to church, and being a part of a cell group and being asked questions about the bible. And then attending prayer, where 30 people are all praying out aloud. And this is so foreign to me and sometimes difficult because I don’t really know much and then being asked questions and feeling like I have to answer, and then not knowing what to answer, it’s all a bit overwhelming. Also being asked to pray for people, and I have never done that, and thinking that I will do it wrong, and that person might not be healed, or what happens if what they wanted prayer for, never happens, because of me. So I definately feel a lot of pressure with the Christianity side, and feeling overwhelmed. But no one said it was going to be easy.

I can definately say, that in the beginning I wasn’t enjoying it, because I had high expectations and then also getting sick all the time and feeling like I had no purpose here, and wasn’t going to change lives, like I thought I was. I mean, I was phoning my mom in tears, and I really considered changing my plane ticket and coming home. But, I thought about it, and I changed my attitude from negative to positive. And it has been amazing since then, I have met Florence, who has changed my life, and soon I will change hers. And I feel happier, and inspired to get up in the morning to go to work.

BIG LESSON LEARNT= ATTITUDE REALLY MATTERS.

I can say that I am definately growing up, as exposed to so many things, that many don’t see. And also think that I will appreciate the amazing life that I have been granted with. Yes, it may sound corny, but it really is true